So I must say the last 10 days have been extremely challenging for me. As some of you may know I have struggled with clinical depression for much of my life. Depression has such a stigma attached to it but in actuality it is nothing more than low levels of certain brain chemicals. It can be triggered by stress, weather,sickness, or like in my current case nothing at all. Some of you may think "Pastor Joe, don't you have the joy of the Lord" Heck yeah I do! but that doesn't mean you wont go through things mentally, emotionally, or physically from time to time. I am happy that I am depressed.(paradox...I know)
I often tell people to stop running from the things that threaten to destroy them (sickness,sadness,shame,pain, fear,all the bad stuff) things can't chase you unless you are running from them. We must stop running, turn around and stand up to the things that threaten us. When you stand up to bullies you take away there power! I don't have to run from my depression, my depression has to run from me.
I could spend my days suffering from depression but I've decided that my depression will suffer instead. listen people, we are constantly asking God for strength and then wine and complain when he gives us opportunity to prove the strength that he has given us. How do you know you have more strength unless its tested by something heavy.
Is my life darker than usual? yes, so I gotta shine brighter. Does it feel like hard work just to crack a smile? Yes, so I gotta work harder. I am grateful that the Lord sees so much potential in me that he would trust me with this training. Training? yes training. One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Heb 12:10-11 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. You may think this only applies to when we are in the wrong... not so. We get the word discipline from the ancient Greek word paideuo this simply means to correct, educate,and nurture. Do you remember how your favorite coach or teacher would push you to do hard things so that your full potential would be realized. thats what the Lord does in our lives. The end of this passage states that the process is not pleasant, as a matter of fact it is painful. but later, if you learn from it, you will harvest righteousness and peace. According to this passage the Lord does this so that I may share in His holiness!!!
Maybe you never realized this but God uses the most challenging things in our life to make us more like Him. He,Just like your favorite coach or teacher, will constantly push us to higher levels of greatness.
So again, I'm glad I'm depressed. This depression is giving me an opportunity to test out the strength the Lord has blessed me with...Oh, and by the way, I'm doing alright (for being miserable at least). When I felt like this years ago I was constantly thinking about suicide. now, I'm thinking about what new victories lie around the corner. So I will continue to force a smile knowing that an authentic one is on its way :-)
In closing I say this. In God our worst days allow us to make our best days.
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